Squash All The Marriage Talk Cause I Ain’t The One
The 18 year old called me today to share some “good news”—one of her best friends was getting hitched. Her poor powerless fucking bastard probably got forced into it. Well, there goes the spontaneous sexcapades in random places as well as all the other pieces of ass he could of had. Throw all that shit out the window. Some mother fuckers trade in their penis for garden gloves and antioxidant face sprays—different strokes for different folks I guess.
So of course, like the naïve broad she was, my “girlfriend” headed to my house to kick back and talk. Oh fucking great. Her chicken head friend filled her head with some fucked up thoughts of planning for the future and I was the unlucky beneficiary to receive this deep, meaningful conversation. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I took a blunt to the dome.
Listening to her chatter about her dreams and a life she wanted to share damn near made me vomit. Don’t get me wrong, I half-ass cared about the broad, but it was all that hopeless movie romantic shit clouding her mind. All I kept thinking about was pounding that vise tight cunt of hers and sending her on her way. But like the good man I was, I just listened intently and nodded with a few “I agree” and “uh huhs” in between. After our long “meaningful” conversation, I couldn’t even fuck this bitch without feeling somewhat trapped—so we didn’t do the due.
Where the fuck was this “relationship” heading? Was I slowly throwing in my player’s card for this chick? I needed a reminder. Lani from MILFVixen.com sent me a message loud and clear. An abundance of pussy is mine for the taking. It’s up to me to conquer the many flavors, or bitch out and concede the white flag to some chick who will potentially nag me for the rest of my life. I was back and in full effect and needed to buy a tennis racket for the weekend.