Sometimes I Rhyme Slow, Sometimes I Rhyme Quick
There was a brand new bar that opened up recently right down the street from my place, and I decided to give it a try tonight for karaoke night and happy hour. I dressed to impress for the occasion just in case any sluts were out for the taking. While watching a few baseball games on TV, I decided to veer away from my normal drinking and try something new—the trendy “Mojito”. What the fuck is a mojito? Mint crushed up in your alcohol—ah, what the hell, it was the happy hour special.
After about 45 minutes (and four drinks later), I finally felt a slight buzz—the drink tasted good, but it felt like a kiddie drink, or a bitch drink, so I reverted back to my usual and had a “beautiful” (Hennessy and Remy Martin mixed) and watched all of these wanna-be American Idols totally fuck up each song. Then a fucking goddess with an angelic voice hopped on the microphone and sung Sarah MacLachlan’s “In the Arms of an Angel”. Holy shit did my cock rise to the occasion.
Once she finished singing, I had to sleep to with her. I noticed she was all by herself, and from the song choice, I figured she must’ve been in either a sad or lonely mindstate. It fed right into my trap. I approached her with an “I can sympathize with you” type of facial expression and instead of asking her if I could by her a drink (like a typical guy would have done), I asked her if I could talk to her—and she said yes. For the next hour or so, I made up a story of how heartbroken I had been and how her singing just lifted all the negative thoughts from my mind and soul. She was enchanted, and I was horny…
I laid her down on her bed and “made love” to her. Her body was in the shape of a fucking pretzel and the fact that she was double jointed in damn near every bone escalated the sexcapade. I told her it’s been a long time since I’ve “made love” and she said I was perfect—but I knew this already. Speaking of perfect, Samantha on PinkandPerfect.com came to mind when I was plugging this broad. Samantha not only resembles this chick, but works herself almost as well as I worked the whore tonight.
Original post by webmaster