Yknow why porn needs better special effects? So that we can have some pretty far out, trippy, fantasorgasmic jack off material, especially now with blu-ray technology.
You ever see the Fantastic Four, or know what it is? Anyway, there’s this dude Mr Fantastic (go figure) and he can totally stretch out any part of his body like miles and miles long, or whatever…dude, that’s the type of special effect fucking they need in some porn movies.
Original post by webmaster
They say that women are creatures of extremes and this is certainly a case in point…
Everyone knows that generally women tend to walk around with their heads up their asses…now on this chick’s quest for extreme satisfaction she is fucked right up…or make that wrong up.
Original post by webmaster
Have you ever gotten your dick caught in your fly? If you have you know it hurts like fucking hell with a pain that will definitely linger.
Hopefully Captain pale penis here is invulnerable to pain, cos damn that sure looks wedged. Personally I bet hung like that he’s got it out on purpose trying to score with another slut like that redhead.
Original post by webmaster
That’s the problem with mad scientists…their priorities are skewed and they concentrate on the wrong fucking things.
I don’t see a whole hell of a lot of a practical application in shrinking women down to midgy widgy itty bitty bimboids that can’t even suck your cock…but if they all looked like ‘the big-boned’ one before he zapped them, then he’s obviously also created an ugly reversal ray.
Original post by webmaster
This is the type of situation that this guy should have learned to deal with in kindergarten. So often when enjoying yourself, some idiot comes along being a killjoy saying ‘Oh…you can’t do that.’
Experience has taught me, as it should have taught this guy, that usually these people just want to be invited to join in on the fun too and I bet if Harold and his girlfriend offered to make it a threesome they wouldn’t have any more problems.
Original post by webmaster
I blame tree huggers and eco-freaks and modern disposable society for troubled marriages like this one.
In the good ol’ days when we did our shopping they would give us big ol’ paper bags in case we had big ol’ ugly wives…If this idiot knew about brown-bagging he could just have a good time and appreciate those huge tits.
Original post by webmaster
Some people would say that licking those toads while on their vacation was not a good plan for these guys…
But if it wasn’t for the toad licking, the reality that these mermaids about to give them awesome blowjobs actually being piranhas because they crashed their boat in piranha infested waters would set in and their last moments would be painful hell instead of blissful ignorance.
Original post by webmaster
Mall time madness is something I avoid if I’m able to because who the hell wants to listen to all the noise, get jostled around and spend money to get a headache?
Now if these crazy sales had naked cat fights like this, it might be worth my time because it would give me a different kind of throbbing head…but with my luck they would be some ugly old Russian women.
Original post by webmaster
I dunno about you, but I have a little program from the weather network called WeatherEye that tells me the weather and whether or not it’s going to be pretty damn breezy.
But if I got to watch some big titted slut weather chick naked giving me the weather, then maybe I would become a tv watcher again. Three cheers for hot big-boobed naked broadcasters (the female ones).
Original post by webmaster
This is one crazy mutated muff, but this chick has gotta learn to be careful or be exploited…
Like if I was this dude, my response would be ‘I dunno…how do you like being sold to a circus as a carnival freak bitch?’
Original post by webmaster